After the initial shock and devastation of finding out about an affair the number one question is often, “Should I stay or should I go?” At this point your brain is foggy, confused, and most likely thinking at 100 mile per hour. This is not the best time to make life changing decisions. This article in particular is meant to help you sort through your feelings and make the best decision you can at the time. Ultimately the choice is yours to make, but before you take the big leap ask yourself the following questions.
- Is this relationship reparable?
- Would he be willing to go to counseling?
- What is my motivation for leaving? Is it to make him realize how valuable I am or is it because I truly cannot continue in this relationship?
- Is this the first offense, or one of many?
- How will this affect our children?
- If I do choose to stay, what has to change in this relationship?
- A year from now how will this decision affect me?
- Can I learn to trust him again?
- How will I know if he has really changed and ended all contact with the other woman?
- Would it be better to wait until I am more calm and can make a more logical decision?
All of these questions are critical when deciding what you would like to do when you find out that your partner has cheated. Pay special attention to question three! This is important because you do not want to leave as a tactic to make him miss you. Come back next week and I will tell you exactly why this is not a good idea….
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Marriage and Family Therapist 